


As Many Times as it Takes

by DragonsAndCryptids



Series: FT one-shots [1]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hopeful Ending, Implied Relationships, Multi, Suicidal Thoughts, kind of, most of them are very slight and not the focus, mostly it's just v depressing tho, this is very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 18:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21343108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsAndCryptids/pseuds/DragonsAndCryptids
Summary: Dragons live for thousands upon thousands of years.So it only made sense for the dragon slayers to inherit that curse.
Relationships: Cana Alberona/Lucy Heartfilia, Chelia Blendy/Wendy Marvell, Levy McGarden/Gajeel Redfox, Natsu Dragneel/Erza Scarlet, Yukino Aguria/Sting Eucliffe
Series: FT one-shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618369
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	As Many Times as it Takes

**Author's Note:**

> I was being very sad at three in the morning, so I thought I would inflict it upon all of you.

The first time it was mentioned, Natsu was twenty-nine. 

He was the youngest of his immediate group of friends, and it was Erza’s birthday, meaning she had just turned thirty. So naturally, she (and pretty much everyone else at the celebration) complained about how old they were. 

Eventually, it turned into teasing over everyone’s ages. 

“Lucy, is that a gray hair I see?” Cana laughed as she combed through Lucy’s blonde locks. 

Lucy gasped. “No way, really? It better not be!” 

“Don’t feel bad, Lu,” Levy said. “I’ve already got some gray hairs myself.” 

“Yeah, but you’re thirty-three! And you have kids, which are  _ stressful!”  _ the celestial spirit mage argued. 

Cana snickered and gestured to Natsu with her bottle. “You got him, and he’s basically a giant kid.” 

“Hey!” Natsu protested. “I ain’t that bad!” And he wasn’t. He liked to think he’d mellowed out over the years. 

Gray snorted. “I saw you fightin’ with the younger guild members  _ yesterday.”  _

“Well someone’s got to teach them how to fight!” he argued. 

“He has a point,” Erza said, sighing as she leaned back in her seat. “Besides, he can get away with it. He doesn’t look a day over twenty, the lucky prick.” 

“Yeah!” Lucy whined. She tapped at his cheek. “You barely look any different than when we met. It’s not fair!” 

Natsu rolled his eyes. “You guys don’t even look old. You’re makin’ a big deal out of nothing.” He crossed his arms and settled back into his seat. 

“You know,” Juvia said, deciding to jump in on the conversation. “Gajeel’s the same way. He’s almost thirty-six, and he looks the exact same as when I met him! It’s infuriating! I  _ know _ you two aren’t doing skin care.” 

Everyone snorted with laughter, and the topic changed. 

* * *

Jokes about how Natsu “was some kind of ageless freak of nature” didn’t stop. Actually, they only became more frequent as the years passed by. Gajeel, and eventually Wendy, were also the center of such jokes. 

When Natsu was forty-one, Gajeel forty-seven, and Wendy was thirty-six, it was addressed in a… not so teasing way. 

Oh, everyone was totally drunk, over at Cana’s for their monthly card night, when Gajeel and Levy’s kids were being watched by someone else, and they could all relax for a while. It was actually Mirajane who brought it up that time, whining about the new wrinkles around her eyes, and demanding to know what Wendy did to avoid them. 

Wendy laughed, and told her she’d never done any kind of skincare routine (or spell), to avoid aging and wrinkles. 

“Bullshit!” Cana said, almost falling off the couch as she leaned forward with gusto. Lucy just barely managed to catch her. “I call bullshit! And you know what!” She pointed to Natsu and Gajeel. “I’m calling bullshit on both of you, too! No one in their forties looks like  _ that!”  _

Natsu sighed and rubbed the back of his head. He knew exactly where this was going, and he didn’t feel like listening to the teases, and the whining about how lucky he was. 

But Levy spoke before it spiraled, her voice surprisingly serious. “Actually, I’ve been thinking about that. It’s not really… funny anymore, don’t you think?” She sighed. “It’s more weird now, than anything. It’s not aging slowly, or aging well, or anything, you guys literally  _ aren’t aging.”  _

Natsu and Gajeel glanced at each other. And well… when she put it that way… 

They really hadn’t changed at all in the past twenty years, and it was made painfully obvious as they looked around the room, examining their friends’ graying hair and the wrinkles beginning to form around their eyes. 

“Oh, I’m sure you’re just exaggerating,” Wendy said. 

And they moved on, too drunk to care or focus on what Levy had just implied. 

* * *

Everyone finally admitted that something was  _ wrong _ when Gajeel and his nineteen year old son looked basically the same age. 

Of course, Levy had been thinking it odd for a while now, but never finding the courage to voice her concern. Nowadays, her and Gajeel were looking less and less like a  _ couple, _ and more like he was another one of her  _ kids.  _

But it hit her full force one day when Juvia said, “Damn, Gajeel, a couple more years and your kid is gonna look older than you!” 

After that… the mood around the dragon slayers began to change. No one treated them differently, but no one pretended not to notice their timeless quality, how guild members in their mid to late  _ twenties _ were looking older than them when they were in their fifties. 

No one dared to bring it up. Not even as a joke anymore. 

But everyone noticed. 

* * *

When Wendy was twenty-two, Chelia had confessed her love for her. Five years later, they got married. 

A long distance relationship wasn’t always easy, but they managed, and never wanted to be with anyone else. 

When Wendy was forty-one, Chelia broke down, crying and sobbing against Wendy’s chest. “You’re going to watch me die, aren’t you? I’m sorry… I’m sorry!” 

It broke Wendy’s heart, as she held her wife. What made it even worse was that she’d had the same realization a while ago, and could do nothing to soothe the ache in her chest. 

* * *

Finally, when Natsu was fifty-three, his friends broke. 

“You’re not aging,” Erza whispered one night, on their way home from a quest (Just because they were getting old, didn’t mean they couldn’t do them. They were still in great shape, thank you very much). 

Natsu took a deep breath. “No, I don’t think I am.” 

“Neither are Gajeel and Wendy,” she added. 

He shook his head. 

“Because you’re dragon slayers?” she asked. 

He shrugged. “Laxus is aging just fine.” 

“But he’s not like you. He was made a dragon slayer, almost artificially. Same with Cobra,” she said. “I don’t know what else it would be.” 

He sighed. “Yeah, I know…” 

Gray grimaced. “‘Course you’d end up with magic that made you some kind of immortal freak. Lucky bastard.” 

Natsu wasn’t sure if he would describe it as lucky. 

* * *

People gave Gajeel weird looks when his kids called him “Dad,” and even weirder looks when he held hands with Levy. 

He didn’t know what to do. 

* * *

When Natsu was fifty-four, Sting and Rogue came to visit. It was the first time in a while, them having drifted apart over the years. Especially after Sting had settled down with Yukino. They never had kids, but they’d drifted away from the dangerous, hustle-and-bustle lifestyle the Fairy Tail mages stuck to. 

Anyways, it’d been a while, so when they turned up out of the blue one day to talk to Natsu, Wendy, and Gajeel, they had a sick feeling they knew what it was about. 

As soon as Sting saw them, he muttered, “So you, too, huh?” 

Natsu didn’t know how to comfort him when he broke down, his last bit of hope torn away as he realized Fairy Tail didn’t have a solution for him. 

* * *

Lucy was the first to die. 

She collapsed one day, weak and shaky, and had immediately been taken to a healer. The healer couldn’t find anything wrong with her, so then Wendy took a look. 

It was discovered her magic power was too much for her, her having used so much of it for so long, she’d simply over exhausted her body. Much like her mother had, actually. 

Perhaps it ran in the family. 

After she collapsed, she was put on bedrest, only growing weaker and weaker as the days ticked by. After two and a half weeks, she slipped away in her sleep, her body finally giving out on her. 

Cana cried for days, unable to fathom how her girlfriend (they never had gotten married, convinced it was pointless ceremony) had managed to outlive her. 

About a week later, when she didn’t show up at the guildhall, Erza and Juvia went to check on her. 

They found her dead on the floor, surrounded by bottles of booze, having drank herself to death. 

(Everyone had always joked about how Cana’s alcoholism would be the death of her, and it pissed them off to no end that the universe would be this cruel about it). 

Natsu was fifty-six when the first of his friends died. 

* * *

Levy woke up on night to Gajeel crying, clutching an old sketch of her and himself, back when they were still young. When  _ she _ was still young. 

“Gajeel?” she whispered. 

He clutched the sketch so tightly it wrinkled in his fingers. “I don’t want to watch you die,” he choked. “What will I do then?” 

* * *

When Natsu was sixty-one, he had to live through Lisanna’s death again. Only this time it was real, and Mirajane and Elfman were gone as well. 

They’d gone on a simple quest, nothing dangerous at all, but the train on the way home had an accident, a bridge collapse, that no one could have stopped. 

Natsu practically melted a mountain in his grief. 

* * *

Natsu and Erza never had gotten married, unlike the rest of their friends. Erza had tried to make it work with Jellal, but they eventually decided they preferred being friends. Natsu had gone through pretty much the exact same thing with Lisanna. 

They grew closer with one another as the years ticked by, and though it wasn’t necessarily  _ romantic _ between them, it was something very intense. 

As such, Erza saw it as her duty to protect Natsu, even if it was from something as undefeatable as agelessness. “You know…” she mused one night, as they cuddled on the couch. “Just because it takes you a little longer, doesn’t mean we won’t all be together again, someday.” 

“Huh?” he asked, snapped out of his sleepy haze by the strange words. 

“After we’re all dead and gone, and you’re still here,” she said. “It will take you longer, but you’ll get back to us eventually.” 

Natsu cried into her shoulder all night long. 

* * *

Happy’s death left Natsu more broken and raw than he had felt in a long time. 

The Exceeds had a much longer lifespan than a regular cat, but it was sure to come to an end eventually. 

The little blue Exceed’s heart had simply just given out one day. 

Natsu melted another mountain. 

* * *

Gajeel’s children were in their late twenties now, and looked older than he could ever hope to. It seemed neither he nor they knew what to do about that, and they began to grow apart. 

The gap between them only grew with Levy’s death. 

Though he had been bracing himself for it for years, Gajeel was nearly destroyed by the death of his wife. 

A quest gone wrong, a spell backfiring in the worst way possible. 

Gajeel vanished for a year after Levy’s death, and not a single person knew where he went, what he did. 

All they knew, was that when he eventually returned, his eyes were dull, and he didn’t talk to his children anymore. 

* * *

Natsu had to watch as his friends died, one by one, either from freak accidents or old age. Either way, there wasn’t anything he could do about it. 

Juvia, Evergreen, Bisca, Laxus, Bixlow. 

With each death, he cried less. 

* * *

Chelia died when Wendy was seventy-seven. Illness took her, so quickly that Wendy couldn’t get there in time to save her. 

She never regretted not joining Lamia Scale to spend their little time together more. 

She didn’t disappear like Gajeel had, but she might as well have. She returned to Fairy Tail with that same, blank look in her eyes, speaking to no one. She took her jobs, gave most of her reward money to the guild, and that was it. 

She didn’t smile, she didn’t laugh. Wendy had become a shell of the sweet, bright girl she had once been. 

Her and Gajeel became closer. He even took her to get her ears and nose pierced, which would have been cute, if most didn’t see it as Wendy self destructing. 

Time continued to play with the dragon slayers, not giving them a moment of happiness. 

* * *

When Yukino and Minerva died, Sting and Rogue left Sabertooth behind, no longer having anyone who tied them to the guild. 

They didn’t officially join Fairy Tail, but they spent a lot of their time with Gajeel and Wendy, even following them on quests, so they were members more or less. 

No one quite remembered the twin dragons of Sabertooth when they looked at the pair now. They were nothing more than husks of shadow and light, being tugged along by life’s whims. 

* * *

Erza’s death was the one that finally broke Natsu. 

His best friend… the one person he could always depend on… the best fighter he knew, was cut down by an old enemy, some member of a dark guild she’d defeated years ago. 

He had attacked her in the dark, like an assassin, not even giving her a chance to retaliate before he slit her throat. 

She’d been gutted like an animal in an alley. 

Natsu’s heart fractured, finally collapsing beneath the weight of all the people he’d lost. 

He didn’t cry at Erza’s funeral, he just stared blankly at her tombstone, just another in the row of the graveyard his friends’ bones occupied. 

A place that his grave would never go. 

Natsu broke, and his eyes became as dull as the other slayers.’ 

* * *

Gray did his best to keep Natsu grounded, but even he had a hard time accepting that they were the only two left, and he knew he only had a few more years left. 

Gray managed to hang on a little longer than most, his own slayer abilities keeping him going, but it wasn’t the same. They’d come from his father, not an actual demon. 

So at a hundred and four, Gray died in his sleep. 

Natsu didn’t even go to his funeral. 

* * *

Not a single member of Fairy Tail was left from when the dragon slayers had joined. The guildhall had become filled with unfamiliar faces. 

Fairy Tail members whispered about the dragon slayers. The sad, angry immortals that had been the powerhouses of an era come and gone. Some of the young, braver members dared to ask them about those who came before them, wanting to hear about all the battles, and world saving from people who had actually participated, rather than reading about it from books. 

Most often, the slayers just stared at them, their blank, dead eyes giving away nothing, and eventually the person gave up. 

But occasionally, if you happened to catch them in just the right mood, they would talk. They talked of magic much more powerful than what existed today, of wizards that sounded like characters from a story, rather than real people, of feats that were impossible, and of the strong bonds between the Fairy Tail members. 

And for just a second, their eyes would light up, sparks and fire dancing in them. 

But then one day, about fifty years after their generation had completely died off, the dragon slayers disappeared. 

Magnolia… all of  _ Fiore, _ never saw them again. 

* * *

Time didn’t exist for the dragon slayers anymore. 

Natsu had no idea if it passed or not, and if did, how quickly it went. 

They tried to remain with Fairy Tail, to reforge old bonds with new members, but they found it was impossible, and after watching Gajeel’s children die of old age, their whole generation going with them, they decided they couldn’t do it anymore. 

They were no longer human, and were not meant to live among them, to watch them die over and over again, with life cycles akin to insects. 

They settled in the forest, days and days away from civilization. If they didn’t want to, they’d never see another human again. 

Eventually, as years ticked by (each one feeling like a mere minute, a  _ second), _ the wounds began to heal. They never disappeared, really… Rather, they became scars, still there, just less painful. 

Gajeel, Wendy, and Sting reminisced about their wives, gazing at old sketches of them. They told stories, gushed about how much they loved them. 

Rogue and Natsu couldn’t really relate, but they had their friends. It was a different type of love, but no less powerful. 

Some nights, Natsu stared at the old sketch of Gray, Erza, and himself when they were teenagers, drawn just before Lucy had joined the guild. 

Erza said he’d see them again, it might just take a little longer. 

As time stopped feeling like time, Natsu couldn’t help but think she might have been wrong. 

* * *

Eventually, magic disappeared from the world, much like it had in Edolas. 

It didn’t surprise the slayers, they’d been feeling the energy weaken and weaken for years. Actually, they even began to hope that without magic, their bodies may begin to crumble, to finally whither away and die. 

But it didn’t happen. It seemed that whatever their magic had done to them, it was permanent, and even with the energy gone, their bodies still stubbornly clung to what tiny, _ tiny _ amount remained, seemingly cursing them with slayer abilities until time itself disintegrated. 

* * *

One night, Wendy heard Natsu leave their little cabin. Worried, she followed him. 

(As badly as they had all adjusted, were  _ still _ adjusting, to their immortality, Natsu was the worst, and Wendy lived in fear that one day, he would do something very stupid). 

She found him sitting by the lake about a mile from the cabin, staring into the water. “Do you ever think we should have let him do it?” he asked as she approached. 

“What do you mean?” she asked as she settled down next to him, letting the water lap at her bare toes. 

“Acnologia,” he said, staring forward with dead eyes that Wendy knew she shared. “Think we should have let him kill us dragons? The world wasn’t meant for us…” 

“Oh, Natsu…” she whispered. 

“Would have saved us a lot of misery,” he said. 

Wendy frowned, thinking carefully about her response. “Maybe. But think about the good years we had, few as they may be. Would you really have wanted to miss out on those?” 

He shrugged. 

Her frown deepened. 

She couldn’t pretend she hadn’t had similar thoughts herself, she was fairly certain they all had.  _ What if I had let that one enemy kill me? What if I didn’t stop some accident from happening? What if I did it  _ myself? 

It was a dangerous way of thinking, and though she  _ understood it, _ Wendy refused to let him stray down that path. “You wouldn’t have,” she said. “I know you wouldn’t have. There was nothing you loved more than your friends, and you would have done anything for them. Even live thousands of years… for a mere second with them.” 

* * *

Eons passed, and the slayers realized they  _ were _ aging. Though… they weren’t sure whether to rejoice over it or not. 

In thousands of years, it seemed they had only aged about five years. Could they really do this for that long? 

The world had changed drastically. Magic had long been forgotten, nothing more than a story for the imaginative. Even the lands and nations had changed, the world shifted so drastically that that which had once been Fiore, literally did not exist anymore. 

But they adjusted. They left the woods, settling down in cities, moving about every decade or so to avoid suspicion. With the rise of the digital age, Wendy went to school to learn about computers, and how to create false identities for them, a necessity, given the times. 

“You should try college sometime, Natsu,” Sting said one day. “At least once. The rest of us have all been at least three times. At least it’s something to combat boredom.” 

Natsu sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Eeeehhh, what would I even go for? I ain’t that smart, Sting.” 

“Shut up,” he said with a smirk. “At the least you could be a history major. Pretty sure you experienced a ton of that shit personally.” 

He rolled his eyes. “You really think I was paying attention during all that?” 

“Hey, it was just a suggestion. I think you might enjoy it,” he said. “Even Gajeel does.” 

“I’ll think about it,” he finally relented. 

* * *

Several years later, he found himself on a college campus, where his dead eyes just made everyone assume he hadn’t slept in three days and had eaten nothing but ramen for a month, which was pretty standard for the environment. 

He’d eventually decided on being a creative writing major. Partly because it reminded him of Lucy, and partly because it gave him an excuse to write about Fairy Tail. 

It helped him remember. 

One day, as he dashed across campus, running late for one of his classes, he slammed into a girl, causing them both to stumble. She dropped her armful of books. 

“Shit, sorry about that,” he said, bending down to help her gather her things. 

“Oh no, you’re fine,” she said. “I should have been paying more attention.” 

Natsu’s eyes widened. Over the years, he’d forgotten what most of his friends’ voices sounded like, but that one… he could never forget hers. 

He dared to look up, and found himself greeted by a woman with deep brown eyes, red hair, and a bright smile. “Erza?” he couldn’t help but whisper. 

Her smile didn’t falter, though confusion shined in her eyes. “What?” 

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. You just… You reminded me… Of someone I used to know.” He handed her the rest of her books and stood back up. “Again, sorry about that.” 

“Oh, I told you it was no trouble,” she said. She tucked the books under one arm and held her hand out to shake. “I’m Esther.” 

Ever so gently, he took it, almost afraid he’d finally gone insane, that all this time had broken his mind. He felt she was going to disappear any moment. “Natsu Dragneel.” 

For a second, just a  _ second, _ something flickered in her eyes, but it disappeared just as fast. She let go of his hand. “Where are you headed?” she asked. 

“Oh, um… my… writing class,” he said. He knew he was staring, and this woman,  _ Esther, had _ to have noticed, but she didn’t say anything. 

“Oh! You wouldn’t happen to be a creative writing major, would you?” Her eyes widened. “Wait! You are! My friend Lily has mentioned you a couple times. The guy with the weird scarf and pink hair that’s in a bunch of her classes!” 

“Yep, that’s me,” he laughed, rubbing the back of his head. “Didn’t realize I was that noticeable.” 

“She never said you were cute!” Esther continued. 

Natsu felt his cheeks turn bright red. “Oh… Oh, um… I…” 

Esther laughed and patted him on the shoulder. “I’ll let you get to wherever you were hurrying too. Hopefully I’ll see you around, Natsu.” She gave him a little wave as she continued on her way. 

He didn’t want to let her go. He wanted to chase after her, demand to know who exactly she was, where she’d come from, but he knew she wouldn’t have answers for him. 

_ It will take you longer, but you’ll get back to us eventually.  _

Was this what Erza had meant? Maybe not an afterlife, but… more of a second one? Could he handle that again? Could he go through watching them die all over again? 

_ There was nothing you loved more than your friends, and you would have done anything for them. Even live thousands of years… for a mere second with them. _

He bowed his head, and decided that wouldn’t be the last time he saw Esther. 

Yes, eventually, he would die. Eventually, he was sure they all  _ would _ be together again in some type of afterlife. But until then… 

Until then, he could keep on living. For just a few years with them. He could do this. Even when he watched them die a second time, he would find them again, just like he had this time. He’d do it a third time, and a fourth, and a fifth. 

He’d find them, and treasure what little time he could with them. He could do this. 

_ As many times as it takes. _

**Author's Note:**

> In case the connection wasn't made, Lily = Lucy, and Esther absolutely knows the rest of the Fairy Tail members. 
> 
> I dunno, I've got vague notions of a second part to this, but honestly, I'll probably just leave it at this.


End file.
